next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
