she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
