when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
