It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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