YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
