he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My penis needs a shock collar
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
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