I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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