we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you told grandpa to call you daddy
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
