found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
