Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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