no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize