I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
