My first STD was from a foam party
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize