how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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