you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
