awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
its liver damage thursday
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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