You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
