remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I want a musical about memes.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
