shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
