is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
