New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
