Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
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