she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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