I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Randomize
