did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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