Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
