If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
