people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
wow bdsm is so cute
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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