Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
