im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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