So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
