Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
