Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
