dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
