ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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