wat bout pragnant strippers??
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
