i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize