I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
