it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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