garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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