My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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