My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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