im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize