i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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