She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
