i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
