ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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