You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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