I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
