Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
