But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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