How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
