So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
When did we convert life to cartoon?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
