Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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