Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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