the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
