WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
