Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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