I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
