a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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