Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
