and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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