We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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