Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Everyone says I win the strip club
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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