A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
