So drunk its hurt
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
